How does the autobiography writer, who inevitably knows they can bother, outrage or hurt their relatives because of what they tell, achieve balance between their freedom of speech and the private life of people to whom they are (or used to be) bound by sometimes very intimate feelings ? Admittedly, the choice they have to make entails undeniable moral stakes they contemplate with their own values, but there also are crucial literary stakes that can sometimes come down to the alternative between writing and not writing, in other words, for some writers, a matter of life and death.